Liam
Sometimes I really don’t understand my parents. I know we were running out of supplies, but we had a plan, and it was a plan that more likely than not would have worked. Then we get a summons to double back to Contra? When we have a chance to gain the upper hand? Now, I don’t plan on being disrespectful…but there’s no way I’m not going to ask what on earth they’re thinking. Just…in more respectful words and phrasing.
I turn to Tigress as we enter Contra’s courtyard, but she beats me to speaking, “I’ll see to the troops, you can handle the report.”
I raise an eyebrow, “Wait-“
She smirks, already walking towards the captains, “I’ll meet you on the training grounds after. You can debrief me then.”
I huff, You always have to get the last word… Even so, I let it slide this once and start towards the throne room. Cearia runs up to me in the hall, “Liam! Can we talk? We need to talk.”
I blink. That’s not the normal level of urgency she normally greets me with… “I…”
“Your highness,” a samurai approaches us, bowing his head in respect, “they’re waiting for you.”
“Ah- Yes, I’m coming,” I wince, turning back to my sister. “I’m sorry, it’ll have to wait a moment- I promise we’ll talk as soon as possible, alright?”
Her shoulders sag slightly, but she nods, “Alright.”
I give her shoulder a quick squeeze before following the soldier to the throne room. Ignoring the sense of deja vu that washes over me, I approach my parents and kneel.
“Welcome back, son,” my mother is the first to speak, her voice warm.
I fight back the small smile, “It’s good to be back. But I do wish to know why you ordered us to double back. Even with the complications posed by the Rebellion, it’s been one of our most successful ventures thus far. We could have gained the upper hand.”
“We called you back because when we gain the upper hand,” my father straightens, rising from his seat, “we want to gain it absolutely.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It is difficult to explain, Liam,” my mother says softly, “but you must trust us. I believe this course of action will…if not completely turn the tide, aid much in doing so.”
I hold back a sigh and nod respectfully, “I…hope you are right.”
“I believe we are,” my father states evenly. “Where is Tigress? I’d thought she would come to report as well.”
“She is seeing to the troops, Father. We were hard pressed to make it back quickly, and with multiple injured. They’re very tired and worn.”
“I see…” he sits on his throne. “When you see her, tell her that we have a plan we shall disclose in due time. Until you receive further instruction, the two of you should rest. A weary soldier is no good in battle.”
“Yes, Father,” I rise and bow, then leave. The path to the training grounds is one I know well from here. On the way, I run my parents’ words through my mind again. What could they mean? And why don’t they just tell me?
Finding myself in the opening to the grounds, I pause and breathe in. I don’t understand what game my parents are playing. However, I have to trust them for now. As much as I hate to admit it, they are my elders and have much more experience than I do. Wars are not won by recklessness and leaders who question every order.
It’s easy enough to spot Tigress. The general stands out against the training samurai.
She pauses her kata and turns at my approach, wiping her forehead and sending me an easy smirk. I ignore the twisting in my chest that causes as she asks, “How’d it go?”
“They said they have a plan that they’ll disclose when the time comes,” I frown at some training equipment thoughtfully. “They told us to wait for further instruction and recover from our mission in the meantime.”
Tigress tilts her head, her amber eye scrutinizing my face. Then she nods, “Alright…I suppose we have our orders then.”
“Yes, that means you need to rest.”
She scoffs and swats my shoulder as she passes, “And you need to wash up.”
I roll my eyes, “I was already going to do that, genius.”
“Sure you were.”
I swallow thickly now that she’s not looking at me, now that she’s leaving. When did that banter become so easy for us? And why does she have to act so comfortable around me? I glance after her. Under any other circumstances…I’d be fine with it. But…
Tigress readies herself to spring at me. She wears a smirk, but a hard, cold light shines in her eye. “Now you are.” She lunges with a snarl, and I’m barely able to slide her clawed hand away from its target.
Everything about this is wrong. This isn’t who she is. This isn’t what we are. And she doesn’t know that, but I do, and…it’s wrong. She was tricked into this, it wasn’t willing. I squeeze my eyes closed and rub them tiredly. This is for the best. In the end, this is for the best.
I murmur an apology to her that she’ll never hear and start towards my quarters.
=
As soon as I’ve freshened up and gotten the dirt of the road off me, I go in search of my sister. It doesn’t take too long to spot her ahead of me. I quicken my pace, “Cearia? Cearia! Hey, you wanted t-“
I break off as the girl turns, smiling wryly. “Ah, Constance, I apologize.”
My sister’s handmaiden shakes her head, “It’s fine. Her highness is in her quarters, if you’re looking for her.”
“Thank you,” I bow slightly, “I appreciate it.” She nods, curtseying briefly before hurrying past. I sigh, turning towards my sister’s quarters. Really, she just had to have a lookalike for her servant. Of course, that’s no disrespect towards Connie, it’s just- It is frustrating, at times.
I sigh and move to knock on the door to Cearia’s living quarters. She opens it a second later, then brightens as she recognizes me, “Liam!”
I open my mouth to speak, but end up yelping as she tugs me inside, sliding the door firmly closed behind us. “Wha- Okay, what’s going on? You’re acting…odd.”
“Something about all of this isn’t right,” she blurts out. “You feel it too, right? Tell me it’s not just me, please.”
I hesitate, “I…do not feel entirely comfortable with some of Mother and Father’s decisions lately…yes…but-“
Her shoulders sag in pure relief, “So I’m not just being paranoid.” I hesitate as she continues, “I don’t like this, any of it. Lying to Tigress, messing with her memories…And-and I heard them talking a couple days ago. When they were deciding to bring you and Tigress back. They were saying things like ‘playing their cards right’ and ‘this is a dangerous game’.”
I run a hand through my hair uncertainly, “I-I don’t know…They’re not really telling us everything, I admit that, but beyond the whole deal going on with Tigress, I can’t really think of anything that is actually bad about it.”
Cearia frowns, “Well what about everything before now? The raids to bring in more potential samurai, the arenas…and what about our mom, hm? Where did all this magic stuff come from? Why didn’t they ever tell us about that? That kind of seems like the sort of thing you’d want your kids to know about beforehand. And again, why are they so obsessed with Tigress? I know they spent a lot of time and energy on her training, there’s a reason everyone’s so terrified of going up against her, but it’s just crazy. Other girls and women arrested or brought in for stuff are punished through servitude, not enrolled into the army.” I look down. “Come on, Liam, you can’t tell me that there’s nothing suspicious about all of this.”
“I…” I shake my head, “I don’t know, Cearia. I just…don’t know. I don’t like it either but we have nothing to go off of other than a feeling, and those aren’t always…correct. I-I agree! I agree that there’s something off, but our parents are just trying to end this war. I don’t really like their method of going about it, but…but I respect their choices and their experience. If they believe this is the right way to go about this…maybe it is.”
Cearia stares at me, completely unimpressed. I sigh, “Look, I just don’t want to jump around accusing them of anything…They’re our parents, Cearia.”
She softens, a bit of confliction appearing in her eyes, “I know…I know. But that’s why I dislike this so much. If there really is something going on…” I don’t think either of us like the thought of finishing that sentence.
I tear my eyes away, trying to suppress the ache in my chest. “I…need to go train…” Cearia nods quietly. I mentally thank her when she doesn’t make a move to keep me from leaving.
Cearia
I watch quietly as my brother leaves. I really don’t blame him for being hesitant about pursuing this topic. It makes me uncomfortable too. But I just can’t shake it. I can’t put my finger on it really, but something’s not right about all this. Aside from the whole Tigress thing because just absolutely everything is wrong about that, but I mean beyond that. There’s something not right, and I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’d hoped maybe Liam would help me figure it out. We can usually accomplish quite a bit when we put our heads together (moreso because he’s always held more political sway than I have, being the crown prince). Maybe he’ll still decide to help me after thinking for a bit. If he doesn’t…well, it’ll just mean a little more effort on my part. Because while this whole thing makes me beyond uncomfortable, I can’t let it go without it weighing on my conscience.
When Connie returns, I’m pacing my room (a habit I really wish I hadn’t picked up from my brother). How to go about this…How to go about this… I can’t just walk up to my parents and flat out ask them what they’re doing. They’d shut me down at the least. No, this is going to require subtlety.
Connie watches me for a moment before shaking her head and sitting to continue her mending, “Alright, spill. What’s going on with you, Cee?”
I smile slightly at the nickname. Of course, she’d never dare call me by it, or even by just my name, outside of my room (which is understandable, an intimate friendship between a noble and their servant would be very much frowned upon by my parents), but the fact alone that she is willing to call me by that at all is uplifting.
“I think you know what’s wrong, Connie…” I refocus.
“I take it you talked to the prince?”
“I get it, I really do, I don’t like this either,” I sigh. “I just hope he’ll be willing to help.”
“He’s your brother,” Connie looks up, voice soft. “At the very least, he won’t rat you out.”
“I suppose that’s a good thing…” I shrug, sitting down next to her and rubbing my forehead. “How do I do this, Connie? I don’t even know what exactly it is that I’m looking for…I just know there’s something.”
She continues her sewing silently for a moment, the only clue that she’s considering my words being the slight furrow in her brow, “Perhaps there’s something in the kingdom’s accounts? Or its history?”
“The library could be a good place to begin…” I straighten.
“You don’t know if it’ll yield results,” Connie pauses to look at me in concern. “You also don’t know if you’ll like any results it does give.”
“No, I don’t,” I look away, “but it’s a place to start. And if I find something that I don’t like…” I shake my head, “at least I’ll have some closure. I’d rather know than be in the dark. Especially if there’s something wrong. Civil war or not, this is my kingdom and my people, and as its princess, I’m duty bound to take care of it. I plan to do my duty.”
Connie’s expression softens, and she smiles softly, “This kingdom would be better already if you were allowed a hand in running it, I think.”
I feel my cheeks warm from the praise and duck my head, “Thank you, Connie. I don’t think I’d make that much of a difference, but…I appreciate the thought.”
In any case, at least searching through the library will be easy enough. If anyone asks what I’m up to, I can claim I’m researching for my studies. It’s nothing I’ve never done before.
Tigress
I can’t bring myself to rest for much more than half a day and a night before needing to release my energy into something productive. With the rising of the sun, I make my way to the training grounds, which are completely empty. It’s nice, I reflect, going through some simple stretches to warm up, not being surrounded by sweaty men for once. Despite the fact that I’m training for war, the setting feels oddly peaceful, the sky frozen between dark and light, the fortress slash palace completely silent, save for those servants who wake early to light fires in the fireplaces or begin preparations for the morning meal.
I’m both surprised and not when my solitude only lasts long enough for me to transition into practicing a few kata. The prince has joined me now. He’s quiet though, as he warms up as well, merely greeting me with a nod. I don’t mind it though. At the moment, the morning feels too content in its quiet for either of us to break it.
It hadn’t taken me long to notice that Prince Liam and I are similar in that we both have restless souls. My idea of rest is resting for a few hours before channeling my energy into something productive. The prince has shown to have the same sort of habit.
Training seems to be a good way for me to sort through thoughts, I’ve found. The familiar motions let me release my energy in a way that’s not distracting to those around me, and it keeps me calm enough that I don’t find my thoughts racing around in my mind so that I can’t grab hold of any of them. I wonder if it’s the same for Prince Liam.
I glance at him briefly as he finishes warming up and takes his stance a couple feet away, going through a sword kata. The royal family is a comfort to me…Hearing there was someone who’d known me before I lost my memories, and not just that, but someone who wanted me, who took me in… It was a relief I hadn’t even realized I felt at first. When the queen would check up on how I was doing, when Saber would assure me that I was still welcome, even if I never fully recovered, but that all was being done to be certain I would be able to resume my old life…when the princess would give me a book to read or a small smile…
Then when I began recovering and the prince would train with me, when we had to figure out what level I’d dropped to. Then on the field, when he’d ask my opinion even though I was meant to answer to him. It’s…nice.
At the same time, however, I recall Saber and the queen sharing glances, I’d catch glimpses of the princess’s conflicted expressions…and something felt off. At first I thought it was just that they were afraid I may never recover fully and were afraid to say so. But then they continued, even after I’d reached my previous strength once more.
And I recall how seriously Saber had told me about the Rebellion, about what lies they’d try to feed me the moment they realized I had no memories. How did he know? It was all almost word for word, exactly how he said it would happen…What are the realistic chances of that?
The sun is risen enough now that a bit of warmth is beginning to enter the world. Just a bit. I hesitate, glancing at the prince again. I need answers to these questions, but I’m not close enough with the princess to feel comfortable asking her things like this, and asking the queen and Saber…I don’t want to seem ungrateful for everything they’ve done for me. And if there is something they were trying to keep from me…would they answer truthfully?
Prince Liam feels like the best shot I have at this point. I take a deep breath and pause, turning to him, “Your highness…” He looks up, raising a questioning brow. “I…have something to ask.”
“What is it?” he stops in the middle of his kata, putting his sword down and turning to me.
“What’s going on?” I watch him carefully.
He blinks, “What’s…going…What?”
“I’m not blind. I know there’s something you all haven’t been telling me. What is it?”
The prince freezes, “Uh- I-“
“You are correct, Tigress…” I turn at Saber’s voice. He’s approaching us with a sad smile. “However, perhaps it’s something you do not need protection from…Walk with me?”
This was not what I had expected. But if he’s willing to give me an explanation… I glance at Liam briefly. He meets my eyes, expression unreadable, before looking away.
I turn back to Saber and bow, “It would be my honor.”
The kingdom’s monarch is silent for a few moments as we walk. After passing a couple samurai patrolling the wall, he finally speaks, “We have been…worried, Tigress. For your memories. With your physical state we could hire the best physicians, we could tend to you ourselves, we could do everything in man’s power to bring you back to full health and strength. But memories…they are not physical. They are not something you can touch or hold, and it is much more difficult to recover them…especially from the outside.”
He turns to face me, brow drawn together, “We want to be able to help, we want your memories to return, but…there is very little we can actually do. There’s no way to say whether this is a permanent state or if they will one day return.”
I scan his features, noting how they’re twisted up, as though in pain or worry. “Even if my memories never return…it is enough for me that I have you and your family. And I cannot express how grateful I am for all you have done for me.”
He smiles softly, “Seeing you well is enough thanks for us.”
I nod, hesitating, “There is…there is one more thing I wish to know…”
“What would that be?”
“How did you know? What the Rebellion would do when they found out I have amnesia?”
Saber sighs heavily, “They’re quick thinkers, if twisted. They know how formidable a warrior you are; some of them have fought you before now. They know that if there was a chance to pull you to their side, that would be an advantage for them. Moreso because…we would not wish to harm you. You are like family, Tigress. For me it would be like losing a daughter. The Rebellion will stop at nothing to win this war, and if that means taking a lie to the grave so that you’ll believe them…” He sighs heavily and doesn’t finish.
I look out at the fiery trees surrounding Contra. I remember the face of the man who fought me first. I remember wondering if he really would have died to sell the lie he was feeding me.
Maybe he would’ve.
“I…understand. Thank you, Saber, for clarifying these things.”
He shakes his head and rests a hand on my shoulder, “I’m just saddened that you were hesitant to come to Blanca and I with your doubts. Please, promise me, if you ever have any again, you’ll come to us. We don’t want you to have to live in uncertainty and confusion.”
“I promise.”
Hoo boy, a lot of things in this chapter!
Now, I know some of you have been asking me when the next book comes out. I do not have a set date just yet – currently I just have one last scene to rewrite before I can start formatting and uploading to Amazon, and the cover is about halfway done.
That in mind, I am attempting to have it published before the fall semester begins. However, I am starting a new job shortly, beginning a summer class next week, and ArtFight begins in July. So if I want to finish all of the publishing, I am going to have to stop these little chapter updates.
I will not be completely abandoning y’all, in fact, I’m gonna have a few DTIYS (Draw This In Your Style) challenges coming up, so that should be fun!
Also, if you guys have been following me on Instagram or Tumblr, then you know I made a Discord server as well!
Don’t forget to check out my Instagram and Tumblr, because that’s where the fun of the ArtFight and DTIYS challenges are going to be centralized!
Abigail Fredrickson 
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